Most parents teach manners the same way: a reminder before, a prompt during, a nudge after. It works in the moment and rarely sticks, because the child is remembering the prompt, not the manner.
What builds it instead
- Model it constantly, out loud. Say "please" and "thank you" to them and to others — kids absorb far more from what they hear than from what they're told to say.
- Narrate the why, occasionally. "That made her feel appreciated" teaches the point of the manner, not just the script.
- Wait a beat before prompting. Give them a few seconds to remember on their own before jumping in with "what do you say?"
- Praise it when it's unprompted. That's the moment it's actually becoming theirs.