Single, LGBTQ+, adoptive, NICU and twin parents: you belong here too

Single or solo parents

• Expect mixed feelings: fear, grief, relief and hope, sometimes in a single hour.
• Build your village before the baby: family, friends, neighbors, a doula or community groups. Ask directly. People want to help and often do not know how.
• In the early weeks, "leave it all. It can be done any time; you will not get that time back." Prioritize rest and bonding over housework.
• Delay big decisions such as moving. Control what you can: routines.

Adoptive, foster and surrogacy parents

• Bonding can be slow and consistent rather than instant. For infants: skin-to-skin, eye contact, talking and singing. For older children: follow their interests, offer choices, and read together.
• Be honest with yourself about the child's loss and grief, and ask your caseworker about supports.
• Postpartum depression can affect adoptive parents and surrogates too.

Same-sex and LGBTQ+ parents

• The same safe sleep, feeding and mental health guidance applies to every family.
• Both parents can bond through skin-to-skin, night shifts and daily routines. Share the invisible work out loud so one parent does not default to "the expert."
• Look for providers and groups who welcome you. Our community has members of every family type, and we will help you find them.

NICU parents

• A NICU stay is stressful and can lead to anxiety and birth trauma symptoms. Ask the staff how you can hold, feed and help care for your baby.
• Depression in NICU dads may look like anger or aggression instead of sadness (March of Dimes).
• Tell the NICU social worker how you are doing. Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your baby.

Twins and multiples

• Plan for more help and more rest. In one multiples-parent survey, 66% named sleep deprivation as their biggest challenge.
• Ask for help directly, build routines, sleep when the babies sleep, and let go of an immaculate house.
• Join local or online multiples groups. They know the tricks.

Education, not medical advice. Every baby and every parent is different. Ask your own doctor, midwife or pediatrician about anything specific to you, and call them or emergency services if you are worried. Sources for this guide: Raising Children Network: single parents; Tommy's: the fourth trimester; Twins Trust: single parent factsheet; Child Welfare Information Gateway; Adoption.org; March of Dimes: NICU dads; Cleveland Clinic: PPD can affect surrogates and adoptive parents. All sources.